They say that love comes when you least expect it.
I don’t know who “they” are, or where they got this idea that love likes to sneak up on people, but apparently, according to them- it does.
How we’re supposed to not expect something that most of us truly wish for isn’t discussed, however. We’re just told to love ourselves and go about our lives- knowing that the right person is out there waiting for us.
Do you know how much of a load of crap that is? I mean, truly? Some of the most single people I know have an undying adoration for themselves, and love hasn’t tapped them on the shoulder and shouted BOO! Love is an energy, a feeling, even a fated destiny, but it’s not a game- and it shouldn’t be played as one.
Being fickle and coy with our desire for love is as close to denying it as you can get without becoming a flat out cynic. There are some who don’t want love or companionship, and to those people, I wish them the best of luck- they carry a strength in them that I do not want to test in myself. I love love, and I’m not shy about it. In fact, I love love so much that it’s my belief that every mysterious emptiness or hole inside us circles right back to missing love in a way.
Most of us, want that feeling. We want to feel love, spread love, and most of all- we want to be loved. It may manifest in different ways, from wanting to be adored by millions to wanting to find your twin flame, but it’s the same overall desire driving each one of us.
And, to set it on a shelf and pretend we don’t want it, or that we aren’t looking for it, is preposterous. We need not obsess over it, but we don’t need to be self-effacing about it either.
Instead, what if we embraced our desire for love? What if we set about an intention to find it, to release our need to obsess over it, and to purify ourselves to accept it?
Because, let’s face it, all of us have thrown away people, things, or ideas, who loved us by not being able to see it or accept it for what it was.
The best way I’ve found to do this is with a Purifying Petition to Love. It is a deep and cathartic experience- and can be used to find romantic love, self-love, and even friendship. It’s all about your intention, and what you’re looking for. If there’s something missing in your life, I guarantee that in some way it circles back to Love, and you could benefit from writing one of the Purifying Petitions.
For me, I can free-write this petition and let everything loose. Others may not find this so easy- therefore, if you find you’re stuck, I’ve created a little PDF with some prompts you can use. I only ask that you don’t edit or repost them anywhere without giving me credit as this entire spell is a labor of love many years in the making!!
How to Write a Purifying Petition to Love
There are two definitive ways to approach this petition (and about a bazillion other ways as well).
- If you know what you’re looking for, the type of love you want, then you can write to that love. It can be a petition to your future lover, or to Love itself (imagined as a sentient entity).
- If you don’t know what you want, you can write to clear the blockages hindering you from knowing. In this case, I’d write to Love itself- freeing you from the responsibility of knowing, and placing your burden into Love’s hands.
I will give you examples from both scenarios down below.
Now that you’ve decided how you want to begin, it’s time to actually start writing. This is best done without your brain. It sounds counterproductive, but there’s a legitimate reason for it.
Our brains hold our judgment centers. Though perfectly normal, and healthy, to use in survival- when we’re accessing our deepest desires it can be a bully. It will give us reasons that we cannot have what we want, and it’ll phrase those reasons into perfectly logical frames that make it hard for us to deny their feasibility. However, our judgment centers are usually wrong when not engaged in survival techniques. They are over-tuned, overworked, and frankly, overused. When we’re creating magick, especially manifestation work in an area as subjective as love, it’s almost necessary to shut our brains down and let our hearts, souls, and bodies do the talking.
When we do this, our petitions start taking on their own energy, releasing from us the weight of our convictions, and delivering us into a forgiving and grateful space that opens us up to everything we desire. It’s like combining Visualization with Shadow work in a single spell (see my post about Vision Boards if you’re interested in more on visualization work).
Since we’re writing from the heart, our purifications will all look different. Some will be desperate pleas to future lovers begging them to find us, to love us, to give us what we wish for- and by putting all that agony into the petition, we release our need to carry it. Some may be clinical, methodical, and deep- accessing and unlocking the doors that have allowed us to deny love in our lives. Some still may be full of hope and gratitude for what we know will find us eventually, giving thanks and positivity. Some may even be stories of our past that need to be relived and released so we may stop retelling them to ourselves and living them as if they were still truth.
Whatever it looks like, just know that it’s exactly how it’s supposed to look. That part of you that wants to edit it, reread it, fix it, or make it different, that’s the judgment part of you that you need to shut down. What spills out, no matter how chaotic, unorganized, rambling, emotional, or even pathetic, it might sound to your ego, it’s exactly what needs to come forth from your soul at this moment.
Therefore, write without fear. Write without ego. Let it be as long or as short as your soul wants. There is no right or wrong here.
When you’ve finished your letter, try not to read it. Reading it not only gives your ego an excuse to judge what you’ve written, it also piles that which you’ve released back on to you. It’s on that page for a reason, and even if your brain doesn’t know why, your soul knows- and that’s what’s important.
After you’ve written your Petition, whether on the computer or in a notebook, either print it or rip it out. Light a white candle, a red candle, and a black candle. Fold your paper in half, and then in half again.
Run the paper through the flame of the black candle, slow enough to soot the paper but quick enough to not set it on fire. Imagine the black candle removing any negativity surrounding your petition, or feelings toward love. Next, repeat this process with the white candle- imagining that the candle is purifying your reasons for seeking love, and erasing all the excuses your ego has formed as to why you don’t deserve it.
Finally, run your petition through the red candle. This time, visualize the energy as Love itself, consenting to your petition and enveloping you in a glowing light of calm and acceptance. When you feel this throughout your entire being, burn the petition with the red candle.
Place into a firesafe bowl or cauldron and try to allow the flames to consume the entire petition. Feel that glowing light consume you in the same way- as every word of that petition is taken from you by the fire and given to Love. Love- in whatever form you’ve chosen- has now taken on your worries, your baggage, or whatever you’ve given it, so you don’t need to continue carrying them.
The Petition, once consumed, can be disposed of in any way you choose. It’s magick has now been spent and is inside you.
After the spell is done, you need not stop looking for love, nor will it be unexpected when it comes- you’ll know that it’ll be there waiting for you, and it may not even surprise you when it shows up. However, in writing your petition you release the ego’s need for it happening on your time.
Maybe that’s the spirit behind the saying at the beginning of this post, that love finds us on its own time- but I dare say we should never stop looking for it. In fact, I believe the opposite should be true. We should find love in every moment, in every person, and under every stone. We should see and appreciate love so often that accepting and receiving it becomes a normal part of our life.
And when it does become a normal part of our life, we want it to continue to be- in all forms, instead of limiting it to the ones our ego expects it to be.
I believe that is when the love we wish for most will find us, because by then, we’ll be so accustomed to receiving love, that we’ll be in a place to recognize it without letting the ego question it…
Examples of Purifying Petition:
(Though I’ve written these, they are not about me or my life. They are here to give you ideas of what your spell can look like. In all honesty, I couldn’t rewrite my own petition if I wanted to- it’s gone, both literally and figuratively. I’ve written several over the years, and each of them have been uniquely their own- and have left my mind as soon as they were burned.)
Knowing the love you wish for:
Dear Future Lover,
I’ve yearned for you. I’ve sat awake many nights, wishing for you- crying into my pillow, wondering when you’ll find me. I somehow fall into a dreamless sleep, and wake the next morning to the knowledge that once I again I must live another day without you.
It’s painful, this loneliness. I’m afraid of it, afraid of what it will do to me if I don’t fulfill it. I feel myself becoming like Aunt Janice, hating love. It’s not even that I hate love, I just hate that I don’t have it. I’m afraid of what that means, and what it says about me. Does it mean that I’m unloveable?
That’s how it feels at times- that I don’t deserve to be loved. I don’t even know what love is, because any time I’ve thought I’ve felt it, it’s fled from my grasp like sand in a sieve. I’ve been abandoned, first by my father, and then by anyone I grow close to. I question what I’ve done wrong, why do they leave- but no answer comes. I can’t understand why they don’t love me.
And then there’s you. I have an image of you in my head, but you have no physical presence- you’re just an idea without a face. How can I know who you are if you won’t reveal yourself to me? Is it because you don’t love me after all?
I’m terrified, lover. I’m terrified that I will never find you and that I will live the rest of my days in this loneliness that consumes my happiness.
I don’t want to be afraid any more. I want to be loved. I want to love.
I’m just so scared that it’ll never happen.
As you can see, in this petition, a lot of underlying things came to light- and perhaps, had this person been writing this for real, their soul would have expanded on the points I purposely included. The father leaving is a huge flag, along with their willingness to admit they feel unlovaeble. All of these things are buried underneath, and need to be released to allow them to feel love. The person they’re seeking might be right in front of them, but because they feel unloveable, they’re not in the position to accept Love. Releasing that fear and allowing Love (capital L) to hold it for them gives them space to accept what they couldn’t before.
Not Knowing the love you wish for:
I feel silly doing this, writing to you as if you were real. I mean, I know you’re real, I’ve felt you before- but I mean like as if you were a person. I don’t know what I want or why I’m writing to you. I just know that I feel this ache of something missing.
I don’t even know what it is. I have a great job, my wife is amazing, and I have two beautiful children. But, still, there is a longing in me that I’m not sure I have an answer for. Even still, I have love in my life- good love. True love.
But I want more. Is that selfish? I don’t know. I don’t want romantic love, I don’t want more kids. I want something else. Is there even anything else? Isn’t marriage and kids pretty much the end of the line?
What comes next? Death?
I don’t want to die without finding what this gaping hole needs. I don’t want to die without knowing what my purpose is.
I guess that’s it, isn’t it? I’m missing my purpose.
What the hell does that have to do with you? Love isn’t my purpose…is it? I mean not in the super-hippy way my wife’s sister talks about, anyway. I’m all for positivity, but I will not sit on a corner with a free-hugs sign- even if my life depends on it. Okay, maybe then, but not before.
I just don’t want to die and not have found a reason for living. I have my kids, and they’re great- but I know that their dependence on me is temporary. They will leave and I’ll be once again me- just me. Well, and my wife, but she’ll be just her, too. And as much as I’d like to make her my purpose, her happiness surely is, but she can’t be my reason for getting up every morning. I can’t put that burden on her. That’s a lot of pressure.
I just wish I could find something I loved doing.
Shit. I just said love. That crazy witch was right. It always circles back to love.
I want to find something I love doing, something that gives me joy- makes me feel complete about being me.
I don’t know what that is, but I’m ready for it. Maybe it’ll be my woodworking. I’ve wanted to get back into that for years but haven’t found the time. I wonder where my planer is…
In this example, you see that this person is already knee-deep in love, yet there’s something not exactly right. They don’t feel whole. You see their ego at first, judging them for wanting to confront this idea, and it presents itself as telling them that they are silly or selfish for wanting more. When they start walking away from that brain center and start diving into their soul, they find that it was always about love- just not romantic love as we all immediately assume love to be.
Love for ourselves, our purposes, what we do, think, or who we are, is just as important as our love for our spouses, kids, families, and friends. Loving ourselves, finding a reason to keep us going that isn’t dependent on someone else, allows us to further appreciate the gifts of love we’ve been given by other people. And, though we’re currently in this revolution of self-care and self-love, it doesn’t always present itself as face masks and glow-up routines. It’s tiny things that bring us joy and give us a higher purpose.
So, therefore, my question to anyone out there seeking Love, or feeling as if there’s something missing- what will your Petition say, and are you willing to let Love hold on to your fears so you can find it in all things?
Until next time, my friends…