Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, or at least that’s what they say. For some reason we interpret that phrase to mean that other people have the power to determine our beauty, giving them the rights to be the beholder.
But, what if we stole it back? What if we took back the power that we willingly handed over to magazines, cosmetic companies, advertisements, and Hollywood? What would that look like? I betcha it would look a lot like magick!
I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve had a hard time accepting the way I look. Growing up, I was that geeky kid with scrawny yellow hair, unfashionable clothes, and the unparalleled gift of attracting unwanted attention. Girls picked on me for being geeky, boys picked on me for being “ugly”, and my home-life was anything but a fairy-tale.
Even now, at my current age, there are few incidents that still sting when I think about them. Defining moments that chipped away at my developing self-esteem, and laid the groundwork for roadblocks that adult Nicole would have a hard time navigating for a very long time.
The point is, we all have our baggage and the list of endless reasons why we can’t (read: won’t) accept who we are and what we look like. We carry our badges of insecurity almost like shields, proud that we’ve survived but unwilling to live with ourselves as we are.
For some, therapy helps them move past these blockages, and for others, like me, time, shadow-work, and soul-searching is what gets us through. Magick has played a huge part in my recovery, and I’ve been blessed to have been gifted a rock of support in my husband. My son, too, is worth mentioning in my healing, as bringing life into this world put a lot of things into perspective for me; I’ve realized that allowing him to grow to be his healthiest means giving him an example of what that looks like.
Therefore, it’s important to me to be at my best with myself, and this looks different each day. Some days, just getting out of bed is an accomplishment, and I reward myself with morning cuddles with my kiddo and a large mug of herbal tea. Other days it’s reminding myself that I’m not ever going to be perfect and that’s okay. No matter which part of me I face in the mirror each morning, I make sure to thank myself- I’m a warrior and I’ve lived through enough to have given up so many times, but I never did.
This morning, I felt quite wonderful. I’ve cleaned up my diet, my sleeping schedule is back to normal, my water intake has greatly improved, and the mental cloudiness I’ve been feeling of late has cleared away. I’ve handed over some current stresses to the Universe and the workings of my magick, and no longer feel burdened by things I can’t change. My skin, a war zone up until last year, gets pampered on a daily basis with a 10-step Korean Beauty Routine, and today, Face Mask Day, is my favorite day of the week.
It’s one day where I schedule half an hour for myself, quiet time for mommy, and I slather clay, or acid, or gel- whatever method I’m in the mood for that day- onto my face, and I sit on the couch, while it does its thing, taking some time to browse my favorite ASMR videos on YouTube, and with headphones on- I relax.
Today, though, I decided I wasn’t just going to do my regular routine, I was going to spiff it up with a bit of magick! To me, my skincare routine already is magick- as pampering myself is an entirely new concept- but I wanted to add something extra special.
Before washing my face, I grabbed a pen and paper and started drawing free-formed Sigils. There’s a coded way a lot of people create them, but I like letting my mind and hand connect without my consciousness to create something completely unique. Today, I wanted something creative and beautiful to inspire me to feel the same all day long. After a few tries, I landed on something I loved and knew that it would become a new part of my beauty routine.
After toning my face, I grabbed my favorite applicator and a trusty charcoal mask, and applied the Sigil. I deemed it: Beauty for the Beast. It will puncture my insecurities (beauty) during those days I feel like the Beast, and will feed my confidence (beast) on days I feel like Beauty!
I let it sit for a few moments, drying, then I covered it and the rest of my face with another clay so my Sigil hid underneath and closest to my skin.
For 20 minutes, instead of perusing social media, I sat with a favorite candle in the bathroom and wrote down all the things I love about my appearance. I’ll hold on to this list for the days when I can’t seem to find anything worthy of looking at.
After the timer went off, I scrubbed off the clay and I could actually see a difference in the brightness of my skin. I finished my routine and came out to the living room, where even my husband commented that something looked different.
That, my sweet man, is called magick.
Until tomorrow, my friends…