2019: The End of the Beginning?


Picture credit: Kelli Peltier Digital Producer; KCTV5.com; July 4th, 2018

I caught a headline earlier today, on some passing supernatural website a friend shared, and it posed that 2018 was a hellacious year because of its numerology. I feel like every year someone, somewhere, makes that claim- don’t you?

Numerology is the belief that numbers have significant spiritual meaning. Created in ancient times, its history debatedly beginning in Egypt and/or China, its symbolism can be seen peeking through in every faucet of modern culture. No matter its origins- the modern generalized idea of numerology is relatively simple: each number 0-9 represents the steps of a cycle that imparts different lessons onto the journeyman happening to pass through these steps. There are several different ways of arriving to these single digit numbers, and I think that’s probably where the different school of thoughts lie (not to mention life paths and other such courses the numbers can come to represent)- but in essence, one reduces a set of numbers (in this case, the year) to its single most digit and that number tells you the lessons that year or time, or tarot card, or person, will teach.

Some say that 2018 is the 9th year, referring to the 1+8, while some claim it as simply the 8th year (using just the 8 from the end). Others even say it’s the 2nd year, as 2+1+8= 11, reducing 11 to 1+1=2. A very complicated method for such a simplified answer, isn’t it?

Ignoring the latter of the three examples, both are at the ending spectrum of the 0-9 principle. This generally signifies that something is coming to an end. But what is that something?

I suppose that it can be anything for anyone, really. It can be the end to a toxic cycle of negativity, or a deadline for a business. Is it a global ending of things, or an individual ending? The article never mentioned, but it definitely implied that our individual endings would result in some global phenomenon of epic proportions.

This year wasn’t terrible for me, as I’ve said a few times now. My family and I packed up all our things, we moved 1300 miles across the country, and started a new life where the haunting baggage of past mistakes couldn’t find us. That makes it sound like we were running, but I think anyone who has made such a move can tell you- it’s a weight off your shoulders that you don’t even know is there. You place such odd expectations on yourself when you’ve lived somewhere for so long; existing in a box of your own creation as if you know how things will turn out and you fully expect that nothing will ever be different. Moving changes the game. It leaves you in the vulnerable space of unknowing- and the beauty of not knowing is that it’s pure freedom of possibility.

I suppose the entire point of what I’m saying, and it could be the after-effects of dehydration (having the stomach flu will do that to you) but I don’t think anyone should put their stock in how your life is based on the number of the year. Is there significance to numerology? I believe so- absolutely, but when we constantly keep saying this year was awful, and that year was despicable, simply because the ending digit was a what-chu-macallit, it completely alienates our responsibility for our own happiness.

It’s an 8 year, or a 9 year, or a 2 year, or for me- because of my age- a 1 year, or a 4 year- all those lessons needing to be learned in 365 days and I can’t even decide what I want for dinner most nights! I guess what I’m trying to say is this: if you’re constantly looking back and seeing nothing but defeat in your past- you’re not paying enough attention to right now to bring about anything else for your future. Articles like the one I read don’t want us to know that because contentment breeds less consumerism- and isn’t that what makes the world go ’round, after all?

I want to read an article about why 2018 was the best year ever. I want highlights of firefighters saving kittens, and old ladies being helped across the streets by strangers in biker uniforms. I want to see hugs from toddlers given to their friends, who are so completely different from them that it gives adults pause to their own “inherent” -isms toward others. I want kindness and compassion to rain down from every news outlet and tv station- and I want it on every 24 hour channel without commercials. Then, I’ll look at the numerological significance of the year and say: “my what does this mean for us?”

You want 2019 to be the best year ever, and not because of the number at the end or the middle or the beginning? We have to believe it can be- and in order to make that so- we have to SEE it as so. 2018 was my best year yet, and I say that with the utmost confidence that YET is the most significant part of that statement. I can’t wait for the adventure of 2019 because I get that much more time to love who I love as hard as I can for as long as I can. And when I’m sitting on the other side of death, I don’t want to be handed a long list of regrets formed from spending too much time focusing on what wasn’t instead of loving what is.

2019 might be the end of a beginning, or a beginning of an end- but either way, it’s going to be damn good. I just know it.

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