Do you have a friend that can see the negative in all things? You know the one that could find fault with anything- and I mean, anything. I used to be this friend. I specialized in dipping that coveted silver lining in acid and watching it peel away, believing that I was being a realist by seeing things as they were, or as they would be.
I called it pragmatism. My mom called it bitter. My husband called it Negative-Nelly-Syndrome. No matter what you called it, it amounted to the same thing: a depressed cynic perpetuating her own depression. I lived in a vicious cycle of seeing the negative, believing the negative, and receiving the negative. I believed The Universe and all of mankind was created for the simple purpose of ruining my day, and boy, were they good at it.
It never dawned on me that I was attracting that negativity like a magnet. Like that friend- constantly thinking the world is out to get them, and in believing so, they’re making it so- I was an antenna turned in only to the world’s worst hits channel. We only get what we’re looking for, and I was looking for terrible because that’s all I believed was possible.
I’d known about The Law of Attraction , and having been a practicing witch who believed in the power of manifesting for over a decade, you would have thought I’d have known what I was bringing down on myself; but I thought I was special… a dumb-luck girl stuck in a rut of bad happenings brought about by no foreseeable reason. That was my explanation for everything. Bad shit just happened to me, and that was that. Good luck was few and far between, and it didn’t stick around long once it did appear.
One day I was stuck in traffic, which like the shower is when I do most of my “unthinking thinking” (you know the kind, when your brain travels off without you and wanders the woods of thought), and a phrase I’d known all my life suddenly screamed at me. “Positive begets positive”. Up until then, I’d used it as a philosophy to describe how I was as a person- I tried to be a good person, and good things were supposed to happen to me, right?
Except, that’s not at all how life works. Everyone knows that. Bad things happen to good people all the time. So, why then, was I seemingly getting more than my fair share worth? Was I destined to always be miserable, or perhaps, worse, I wasn’t meant to exist in the first place and this was my punishment? When I say that I had (and still have) some deep seeded shadows to expunge, I’m talking deep.
This phrase “Positive begets Positive”, now stuck to me like glue, and my bad luck were connected- I just knew it. Simple things started happening to reaffirm this idea, and soon synchronicity was popping up everywhere. The final straw came when I randomly found a movie titled The Secret on Netflix which is basically an infomercial version of The Law of Attraction, detailing how we bring about our own realities.
It was painful and a little silly at first, believing my thoughts and attitude could influence the things that happened to me. I felt like a fraud, or a wack-a-doo, purposely categorizing what I thought, as if The Universe was some peeping Tom listening in to my darkest desires. It was a dramatic turn from my comfort zone and I quickly began to realize how negative I really was- not only toward life, but toward my own self.
Little by little that tiny phrase grew into a mantra and, as my attitude shifted into seeing the positive, our lives began to improve in areas that hadn’t seen forward movement in years. Bills became easier to pay, people were kinder for no reason, tasks were more manageable, and The Universe suddenly didn’t feel the need to pick on us any more.
Like a switch, the darkness surrounding every issue I’d ever considered real was lit from the inside and I could see how wrong I had been. People didn’t look for the silver lining because they were naive! They sought the it because it reflected the sun back toward them! Sure life isn’t a bunch of rainbows and unicorns, but it’s not hellfire and brimstone all the time, either- which is what I’d convinced myself my entire existence was made of. It really took a hard look in the mirror of my thoughts to see that I was shaping my reality by which lens I chose to view it through.
Here I am a year and a half later, sitting in a house that I never would have thought I’d been able to buy, on a blog I never would have had the courage to create, in a state that I would not have had the money to move to, all because I believed I could have it. All because I believed I already had it, really- but that’s another post another day 🙂
And, sure, there will be people who say we got lucky- or things happen like that sometimes, it’s the luck of the draw- but I don’t believe that. For years I was depressed with my life, sad to be me- I can’t say that any more.
So, now, when I see a friend being so negative, I want to reach through the screen and shake them! Hey, Friend! You have the power to change this! See the positives and positives will find you!
Like all things that come to us before we’re ready, I know it’ll fall on deaf ears until they’re ready to listen- but I’ll be preaching it from the rooftops until they get so tired of my positivity they’ll have no choice but to hear me! You are worth your dreams, and, love, they are attainable. Happiness is there if you but believe it is!
If anyone out there reads this, and finds that they’re ready to listen, just remember: KISS, Keep It Simple, Silly. It doesn’t need to be huge to make a difference, it just needs to be positive. You’ll see 🙂